


Two Outlaws and a Baby

by Pony Girl (Jackjunkie)



Category: Alias Smith and Jones
Genre: Action/Adventure, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-06
Updated: 2012-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackjunkie/pseuds/Pony%20Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heyes and Curry have adventures in babysitting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Outlaws and a Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Just You, Me and the Governor #3

Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry—the two most successful outlaws in the history of the west. Also two of the most wanted outlaws. Just now they were most wanted by a very determined posse that had been sticking to their trail like cockleburs to a horse’s tail, with no intention of getting unstuck. Twenty thousand dollars’ worth of reward money made for powerful glue.  


Heyes and Curry had been keeping just far enough ahead of them to stay out of reach, but the chase was beginning to take its toll. They were two very tired, travel-worn men when they reined in at the fringes of a small ranch and surveyed the lay of the land. It was pretty empty looking land, an awful lot of wide open space, save for a small house and barn set down in the center and one lone, tall tree nearby. It looked fairly quiet and deserted.  


Heyes contemplated the scene. “What d’ya think, Kid?”  


“What do I think? I think we don’t have time to think. That posse’ll be on us in a matter of minutes!”  


Heyes nodded at the house. “We could try holin’ up in there.”  


Curry gave his partner a quizzical look. “ _Not_ one of your better ideas, Heyes. We got no guarantee there ain’t somebody in there, and anyways that’s the first place they’d look. We wouldn’t stand a chance!”  


Heyes smiled slowly. “My thoughts exactly, Kid. You’re learnin’—I knew I’d start bein’ a good influence on you someday.” He gazed thoughtfully at the lone tree. “I do believe, however, that I see another possibility.”  


Curry looked at his cousin. Then he looked at the tree. He looked back at his cousin. “Heyes,” he said ominously, “if you’re thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’—I ain’t climbin’ no trees!”  


“Well, Kid, if you’ve got any better ideas, now’s the time to bring ‘em up.”  


Heyes waited patiently. The Kid fumed silently. Finally he gave a resigned sigh. “No, Heyes, I ain’t got any better ideas. I ain’t got any worse ideas either. I ain’t got any ideas at all!”  


Heyes cocked his head, listening. “Then I’d say we’d better move—now!”  


They galloped hell for leather out into the open, making straight for the tree. Stopping beneath it, Heyes grabbed up his saddlebags, slung them over his shoulder, and climbed straight from horseback into the branches. The Kid looked after him in disgust. “Heyes, do you have to do everything the hard way?”  


“We don’t want to leave footprints. Come on,” Heyes encouraged, as the Kid followed his example. Leaning down, they gave their horses a couple of good whacks on their rumps to send them off. “Geeyap, go on, get out of here!” The animals galloped away, and the two men carefully made their way to a higher perch.  


No sooner had they gotten settled than the posse appeared in the direction from which they had come. At the same moment a figure emerged from the house and strode purposefully towards the tree. It was a young woman, about in her 30’s, wearing a yellow-flowered dress, and carrying a shotgun. When she reached the tree, she stopped and waited, calmly watching the posse’s approach. As they drew near, she raised the gun and pointed it straight at them. “That’s far enough.”  


The group stopped. The man who appeared to be in charge raised his hat. “Howdy, ma’am. We don’t mean to intrude, but we’re on the trail of a couple of outlaws, and we’re pretty sure they came this way. Did you see anyone ride through?”  


“Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t,” responded the woman. “Who are these outlaws you’re after?”  


“Why, ma’am, they’re Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, two of the most ornery, vicious varmints that ever robbed a train,” put in one of the other riders, “and they’re worth…”  


The leader shot him a warning glance and interrupted, “They’re very dangerous men, ma’am, and very tricky. In fact,” he looked at the house consideringly, “it might be a good idea if we searched your house and barn. For your own protection, of course,” he added hastily, as the shotgun focused on him menacingly.  


“That so? Well, you’re already trespassing on my land, and I don’t reckon on allowing any trespassing in my house,” she announced firmly. “I don’t need any protecting, thank you.” Her eyes narrowed. “Howsomever, I’m a law-abiding citizen and I certainly don’t want to help lawbreakers evade the law. I did see a couple of horses come through here pretty fast and take off thataway.” She gestured with the gun. “I couldn’t say who was riding ‘em.”  


“That’s alright, ma’am. That’d have to be our quarry. Much obliged. Let’s get ‘em, boys.” The posse rode off in the direction she had indicated, following the runaway horses. She lowered the gun and stood watching them out of sight.  


Up in the tree, Heyes and Curry watched, too. They quietly let out the breaths they had been unconsciously holding as the drama unfolded below them. Heyes grinned at Curry; Curry grinned back.  


“Alright, Mr. Heyes, Mr. Curry, they’re gone. You can come down now.”  


Two pairs of eyes shot startled glances downward. The woman was still standing gazing after the departed posse. Brown eyes looked back up into blue, questioning, and found the question reflected back.  


The woman’s voice floated upwards again. “It’s no use trying to play possum. I know you’re up there, I saw you ride up. You might as well face it, you’re going to have to come down sometime, and I don’t imagine you’re going to get very far on foot.” Still no response from the tree. The woman sighed. “Well, when you make up your minds, you can come on over to the house. Dinner’s almost ready, and you’re welcome to join us. Don’t wait till it’s cold, mind.” She walked away towards the house.  


In the tree, the two outlaws just sat and looked at each other. Heyes opened his mouth, but before he could get out a word, Curry said, “Heyes, I have been chased and shot at and treed. I’m dusty, saddle-sore, and hungry enough to eat a possum, never mind playing one, and a hot meal sounds a lot more attractive than trying to get out of this mess with no horses and nowhere to go. I don’t really understand what just happened, and right now I don’t really care, I just want to take that lady up on her kind offer, whatever you may say to the contrary!”  


“Easy, Kid, I couldn’t agree more,” Heyes responded soothingly.  


“What?!” The Kid looked at him disbelievingly.  


“Well, I don’t see as we have much choice. Like you and the lady both said, we’re kinda stuck. I know when to fold.”  


“Uh-huh. Right. Well, so, let’s go.”  


The two made their way down from branch to branch. Dangling from the lowest one, they dropped the rest of the way to the ground. As they headed for the house, Heyes made one final comment. “And I’m just kinda curious to know who else she meant when she said we could join ‘us.’”  


The Kid paused a moment. “Heyes, she can have a husband and six brothers in there, all with shotguns.” He resumed walking toward the house. “At least we’ll have a meal and a ride to prison.” Heyes kept pace by his side as he strode determinedly up to the door and knocked.  


*****  


“Well, come on in, it’s open,” the woman’s voice called from inside.  


Curry opened the door and Heyes warily followed him into the house. They didn’t see a husband. They didn’t see six brothers with shotguns. They didn’t even see one brother. What they did see was a somewhat sturdily built woman of medium height, with straight brown hair pinned up in a bun, and a rather plain but pleasant face, standing by a table dishing out bowlfuls of hearty-looking stew, the smell of which set the hungry men’s mouths to watering. Seated at the table was a little girl of about three or four, with a mop of chestnut curls, fully occupied at the moment with a cup of milk. The shotgun stood against the wall nearby, where it was handy. A quick glance around revealed no other occupants in sight.  


Hats in hand, the two men stood for a moment, breathing in the delicious aroma. “Ma’am,” Heyes finally spoke up, “that there’s about the most heavenly-smelling meal this side of the ambrosia I’ve heard tell they serve in paradise.”  


She looked them over. “Well, smelling it won’t fill your bellies. Why don’t you go on back and get washed up, then you can sit down and have a proper taste.” As they hesitated, she continued, “There’s no ambush waiting for you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”  


“Oh, no, ma’am, that never entered our minds at all, no, ma’am.” They proceeded to do as she bid, washing off the trail dust as they took stock of their surroundings.  


“What do you make of it?” Curry muttered.  


“Oh, _now_ you’re asking my opinion?” Heyes grumbled, also keeping his voice down. He considered for a moment. “She’s being right hospitable and she hasn’t so much as asked for our guns. I say let’s just go along, eat dinner, and see what happens.”  


“Fine by me,” Curry answered, “especially the eating part.” They returned to the table.  


As they settled themselves, she sliced thick hunks of fresh-baked bread and passed them around. “We’d like to thank you kindly, Mrs., uh, ma’am, for coming to our rescue just now. We surely do appreciate it.” Heyes smiled disarmingly as he accepted some of the bread.  


“Name’s Hettie Perkins and this here’s Anna Mae.”  


“I’m Anna Mae Perkins and I’m three years old,” announced the little girl with an air of great satisfaction.  


Curry smiled at the child. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Perkins.”  


“Now, which one of you is Heyes and which one’s Curry?” resumed Mrs. Perkins, placidly pouring coffee.  


“Why, Mrs. Perkins, that was just a little misunderstanding. Let me introduce myself—I’m Joshua Smith and this is Thaddeus Jones.”  


The Kid looked up for a moment from the food he was dispatching most efficiently and nodded.  


Heyes went on. “Apparently my cousin and I do bear some small resemblance to those desperate criminals, but I assure you we are not Heyes and Curry. It was just our misfortune that those men jumped to that conclusion. I’m sure we could have straightened everything out if they would only have been willing to discuss things in a rational and civilized manner, but as you saw they were in no mood for talk. I shudder to think of what end their hasty and unthinking actions would have led to had it not been for your timely intervention on our behalf.”  


Mrs. Perkins gazed at him admiringly. “My, I do believe you could talk down off a duck. But you can’t bamboozle me. All your flimflam doesn’t convince me you’re not exactly who those men claimed you were.”  


“’Boozle,” Anna Mae tried out the word. “Flimflam.” She laughed softly and began to croon to herself. “’Boozle, flimflam, ‘boozle, flimflam…”  


Heyes’ smile became a trifle strained, but he kept up a valiant effort. “I’m sorry I can’t persuade you of our true identities, but if you are determined to believe otherwise I will not attempt further argument. However, may I ask why, if you believed us to be outlaws, did you come to our aid?”  


“Humph.” Mrs. Perkins drew herself up, the picture of righteous indignation. “I don’t hold with bounty hunters. They’re a scurvy lot. Just because you’re outlaws doesn’t mean you should be hunted down like animals. You’re human beings, and I hope I know my Christian duty to my neighbor. I also don’t cotton to such men who think they can take advantage of a helpless female by coming onto my land and ordering me around.”  


She shot a glance at Curry, who suddenly seemed to be having trouble swallowing his food. He gulped down some coffee. _Helpless?!_ he thought, and avoided looking at Heyes.  


“Blood money is something else I don’t hold with, so I’m not about to turn you in for the reward myself, if you were worrying about that,” she finished.  


“Ma’am, if we were worried, supposing we were Heyes and Curry, which I’m not admitting, mind you…”  


“Oh, of course not.”  


“Then you’ve put our minds at ease, as well as our stomachs with this wonderful meal, and I thank you again. I’d like to know if there isn’t something we can do to repay you.”  


“Well, you’re very welcome, and you can just sit there now while I get some apple pie for our dessert. After, if you’ve a mind to, you can help with some chores that have been piling up since my husband’s been away. In fact there’s enough work to catch up on that I’d take it kindly if you could stay an extra day before you go on your way. You can bunk in the barn.”  


“Why, ma’am, I think that would suit us just fine, wouldn’t it, Thaddeus?”  


“It would, Joshua. It’s the least we can do, ma’am.”  


“That’s settled then. I’ll fetch the pie. I’m a mite proud of my pies, if I do say so.” She left the table.  


“Kid, I think the luck’s finally turning our way again,” Heyes murmured.  


“’Boozle,” came from the little girl at the end of the table. Brown eyes gazed into brown. Anna Mae smiled. “Flimflam,” she chortled.  


*****  


Very tired and full to the brim with homemade bread, stew, and apple pie, the two men had no trouble at all getting a good night’s sleep in the barn.  


“Most comfortable hay I’ve ever slept in,” yawned Curry the next morning as he stretched and looked around the barnyard.  


The sun was shining in a clear, bright sky. It was a beautiful day and good to be alive and free and outdoors. Curry took a deep breath of the fresh air, and then began to sniff appreciatively.  


“Mmmm, Heyes, coffee. C’mon, breakfast,” and he pulled his still half-asleep partner towards the house.  


“Morning, Mr. Heyes, Mr. Curry,” Hettie greeted them as they entered. “Though I still don’t rightly know which is which.”  


Curry winced. “Ma’am, we’d be mighty obliged if you wouldn’t use those names at all. Why don’t you just call us Thaddeus and Joshua.”  


“Alright, if you’ll stop ‘ma’aming’ me and call me Hettie.” She waved her spatula for emphasis. “After all, it makes no nevermind to me what you choose to call yourselves, though it seems a body might have picked something a bit more believable than Smith or Jones.”  


“Why, Hettie,” observed Heyes, the picture of wide-eyed innocence, “there are lots of folks named Smith and Jones.”  


“I expect that’s so. I also expect there’s none of them in such suspicious circumstances as you two. But there’s no point in going over all this again. Why don’t you set yourselves down and have some breakfast.”  


Fortified by Hettie’s pancakes, the two men cheerfully set to work. There was plenty to keep them occupied. Hettie’s husband was away at the territorial capital on business of some kind—she hadn’t elaborated—so with the man of the place gone and no hired hands, there were any number of ways to make themselves useful.  


Little Anna Mae followed them around, watching them work or just playing nearby. Strangers were a rare occurrence in her young life and she was curious. She seemed to have formed a particular attachment to Heyes, prattling away to him, offering to share her bread and jam, inviting his opinion of the drawings she scratched in the dirt, and generally getting underfoot. The Kid was deriving enormous enjoyment from his friend’s predicament. As Heyes shooed her away for about the dozenth time, the Kid chuckled.  


“You seem to have acquired a shadow there, Heyes.”  


Heyes growled. “I don’t know what you find so gol-danged funny about it.”  


“I don’t know, Heyes, I guess it’s just your irresistible charm with the ladies.”  


“Ha, ha. Well, I’m glad to be such a source of amusement to you.” He tried to concentrate on mending the fence, but Anna Mae came running back and begun tugging at him. “Come see, come see!”  


“Anna Mae, I can’t right now, I’m busy. Go back and play.”  


“First you hafta come see!”  


“I said no. Now go on.”  


She stood looking up at him and tears began to well up in her big, brown eyes. One spilled over.  


“Aw, don’t cry now. Alright, I’m coming, I’m coming.”  


She smiled, turned, and ran back towards the barn. Heyes followed, and the Kid tagged along. “Will you stop grinning like a Cheshire cat?”  


“Wrapped around her little finger, Heyes, that’s right where she’s got you. They do start learning young.”  


“I oughta wrap you around that fence post.”  


“Temper, temper.” They entered the barn. “Anna Mae?” Heyes called.  


“Come here. Come see.” They heard her voice from the far side of the barn and headed in that direction. Anna Mae was nestled in a corner with a little collection of objects and bits of paper. “These are my treasures. Shh! It’s a secret,” she whispered.  


“What nice treasures,” commented Curry as he bent to examine a marble she held out for inspection. But Heyes’ eye was caught by one of the papers. “Anna Mae, may I see that, please?” She handed him the paper, proud that she had captured his interest at last.  


“Kid,” he said as he scanned it, “this looks like some kind of legal document. Something to do with the property. Anna Mae, I think we’d better show this to your mother.”  


“Uh huh,” she nodded happily. She was getting more attention than she’d counted on.  


Heyes strode off towards the house, leaving the Kid to pick up Anna Mae and follow.  


“Hettie!” he called, banging open the door. “Hettie, where’d you get to?”  


“What’s all the ruckus?” She came in, wiping her hands on her apron.  


“Here, give this a look-see. I thought it might be something important.”  


She started to read as the Kid stepped in with Anna Mae.  


“Mercy!” she exclaimed and sat down with a thump. “Where’d you find this?”  


“Anna Mae had it out in her treasure trove in the barn,” explained the Kid.  


“Her treasure…” her voice trailed off.  


“Is it something good, Mama?”  


“Something good… yes, honey. Yes, it’s something good. Oh, could someone kindly fetch me a glass of water?”  


“Surely.” Heyes did so.  


Hettie took a sip. “That’s better. You all might as well sit down and I’ll explain. You see, the reason Jim, my husband, is away is because of a legal problem over the title to this ranch. We could stand to lose it all, everything we’ve worked for. There are those who wouldn’t mind seeing that happen—they have some ideas of their own for this land if they could get ahold of it. This here paper’s exactly what we need to prove our title. We thought it was lost. Oh, Anna Mae, Anna Mae.” She hugged her daughter, and didn’t seem to know whether to laugh or cry.  


“That’s good news, Hettie. We’re very glad for you.” Heyes smiled warmly.  


“And to think,” added the Kid mischievously, “all because Anna Mae was trying to impress Joshua here.”  


“She does seem to have taken a shine to you, Joshua,” said Hettie with a thoughtful air.  


“There’s just no accounting for some tastes,” teased the Kid.  


Heyes didn’t rise to the bait. “This must a big relief to you, Hettie. You enjoy your good fortune now. We’d best get back to work.”  


Hettie, who had been gazing abstractedly into space, glanced up. “Yes. Yes, you go ahead. I’ve got to think this through. I may want to discuss this with you when you come in to supper.”  


“Fine. We’ll talk then. Let’s go, Thaddeus.”  


“I’ll be there directly.” Heyes left. Curry stood up and held out his hand. “Come on, Anna Mae. Let’s go bother… I mean play with Joshua.”  


*****  


“Gentlemen, I have a business proposition for you.”  


They had just finished another of Hettie’s fine meals and were lingering over their coffee. Anna Mae was playing quietly with her doll.  


“What sort of proposition?” asked Heyes.  


“It’s vital that I get that paper to my husband as quickly as I possibly can. There’s just no time to lose. I’ll have to set out first thing in the morning for the capital and just hope I won’t be too late as it is. The problem, you see, is Anna Mae. I can’t take her with me without losing precious time. I’m sure you’ve been considering how to get out of your current ‘stranded’ situation. I will give you two horses and saddles if you will take Anna Mae to my sister’s. It’s about two days’ ride away from the path those bounty hunters took. I’m assuming you’ll want to stay away from there, whereas if you delivered the paper (you see, I’ve already thought of that) you’d be riding straight after them, not to mention all the legal-types you might encounter trying to locate Jim—I’m guessing that might not be your first choice. So, the deal is: transportation in exchange for seeing Anna Mae safely to her aunt’s. What do you say?”  


Heyes exhaled. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. Hettie’s plan would solve their transportation problem. She seemed to have thought of all the angles. Only: “You’d trust your daughter to two complete strangers, men whom you frankly believe to be wanted outlaws?”  


“I don’t know exactly what you may have done to become wanted,” she said slowly, “but I do know what you’ve done in the twenty-four hours you’ve been here. You could have simply taken those horses at any point and ridden away and there wouldn’t have been any way we could have stopped you.”  


“I’m not so sure about that,” muttered the Kid, with a sidelong glance at the shotgun still standing against the wall.  


“I am,” Hettie replied. “But you didn’t. I’ve talked with you, watched you do honest work for your keep, and quite probably provide the means for saving my ranch. Besides,” and she smiled, “Anna Mae likes you.”  


“Oh, that settles it,” said Heyes.  


“Well, I think it’s an important point,” Hettie returned. “So how about it?”  


“Would you excuse us for a few moments?” Heyes asked. “I’d like to talk this over with my partner.”  


“Of course, go right ahead.”  


They stepped outside.  


“It sounds like a good plan, Kid.”  


“Uh huh.”  


“Solves our problem.”  


“That it does.”  


“Helps out Hettie, too.”  


“Yup.”  


“Can’t think of anything she left out.”  


“Nope.”  


“So how come I’m not happier about it?”  


“You mean apart from its being somebody else’s plan? You always were partial to your own plans.  


“Yeah, besides that.”  


“Could be you’re not real excited over playing nursemaid to Anna Mae for two days.”  


“Yeah, that’s it. I’m a nice guy, Kid, am I a nice guy?”  


“The best, Heyes.”  


“I’m kind to animals and children. I don’t go around kicking ‘em. I even like some of ‘em. And obviously some of ‘em like me.”  


“You’re a likeable kind of guy, Heyes.”  


“But what do we know about taking care of ‘em? I never took care of a little girl before—neither have you. I don’t like playing a game when I don’t know the rules, Kid.”  


“Heyes, Heyes, how hard can it be? She seems a quiet enough little girl, happy disposition. So we take her along, feed her when we stop to eat, and put her to sleep at night. Sounds simple enough for a couple days. What could go wrong?”  


“Somehow, Kid, I wish you hadn’t put it quite that way, They have the ring of famous last words.” He pondered. “But you’re right. I don’t see any holes. It’s the best hand we’ve got—the only hand we’ve got.” He took a deep breath. “Let’s go tell Hettie she’s got a deal.”  


*****  


“Now, Anna Mae, you be a good girl and mind your Uncle Joshua and Uncle Thaddeus.”  


Heyes shot a bemused look at Curry. “Uncle Joshua?” he mouthed silently. The Kid shrugged.  


“Give Mama a hug goodbye now. You’ll have a nice visit with your cousins, and your papa and I will come and get you as soon as we can.” She turned to the two men. “Here’s the letter for my sister explaining everything. You know how much I’m obliged to you. Have a safe journey—and try to stay out of trouble, if you can.”  


“Hettie, it’s us who are obliged—and we always try to stay out of trouble.” Heyes smiled. “In fact, if we ever were the kind to go looking for trouble, that’s all in the past. You might say we’re working on a deal that will keep us out of trouble for good.”  


“Glad to hear it. Well, we’d all best be on our ways. Take care of my baby.”  


“She’ll be fine, Hettie, don’t worry,” assured the Kid. “Good luck in the capital.”  


“Thank you. Off with you, then. No point in lollygagging around. Goodbye, and Godspeed.”  


She watched them ride away before she turned to make her own preparations to leave, and was soon galloping off in the opposite direction.  


*****  


They were cleaning up after lunch.  


“It just beats me how such a small child can get so sticky after one meal,” Heyes grumbled as he wet his handkerchief from his canteen and scrubbed away at Anna Mae’s face. The Kid just smiled.  


“There. That’ll do for now. Why don’t you take your doll and go play over there for a bit while the K--, er, that is, your ‘Uncle Thaddeus’ and me finish packing up.”  


“Okay.” She pattered off obediently.  


“That’s a good girl.” He straightened up. “ _If_ we get through this, we might even be able to get us a couple jobs as nannies.”  


“Oh, Heyes, quit grumbling. She hasn’t been any trouble at all, like we figured. I think you just want something to grouse about.”  


They continued to bicker good-naturedly as they cleared away the traces of their campsite. When they were ready to leave, the Kid started to call Anna Mae over. He didn’t see her where she’d been. He looked around. He couldn’t see her anywhere. “Heyes,” he said, “I think we got our first trouble. Where’s Anna Mae?”  


“Why, she’s right over—“ Heyes pointed, and stopped.  


“Uh huh, that’s what I figured. We better split up and find her. She can’t be far. I’ll go this way. Why don’t you check over there?”  


They walked off in different directions, calling Anna Mae’s name, but getting no answer. The Kid was just starting to feel a mite anxious when he spotted a small patch of yellow against some rocks up ahead. Anna Mae! “Anna Mae!” he called and broke into a run.  


He skidded to a stop at the foot of a rockpile. Some of the rocks were perched rather precariously atop others. Anna Mae was climbing just out of reach. He placed a foot experimentally on one of the rocks near the base which, true to its name, rocked unsteadily. He looked up at the child. “Anna Mae,” he called softly.  


“Uncle Thaddeus,” she called back, “see how high I am!” She took another step. A few pebbles dislodged and fell at his feet.  


“I see. You’re a real good climber, Anna Mae, real good. But it’s time to go now, sweetheart. Uncle Joshua has the horses waiting for us. Come on down now, real easy-like.”  


“Okay.” She started back down. One step. Another. She was making slow progress. The Kid stood watchfully below, arms upheld, encouraging her. “That’s right. Easy now, that’s a good girl.” She was almost within reach. Her next step set a rock to wobbling, she teetered a moment, then lost her balance and went sliding down the pile amid a shower of smaller stones and pebbles. They rained down on the Kid below. Despite the pelting, he managed to stand his ground and catch her as she flew into his arms. The impact knocked him off his feet. He sat down hard.  


She laughed and clapped delightedly. “That was fun!”  


He gazed at her in disbelief. “Well, you don’t seem any the worse for wear.” He set her on her feet and stood up stiffly. “Which is more than I can say for your Uncle Thaddeus,” he groaned.  


Anna Mae was looking around. She found her doll, which had also survived the fall unharmed, then took the Kid’s outstretched hand and skipped merrily along by his side as he limped back to camp.  


Heyes appeared from the other direction just as they arrived. Anna Mae dropped the Kid’s hand and ran to him. “Uncle Joshua, me and Uncle Thaddeus had the best fun!”  


Heyes lifted her up. “Did you now?” He eyed the Kid. “Are you alright?”  


The Kid rubbed his backside. “Let’s just say I expect to be a little saddle-sore.” He walked over to his horse and managed to mount up.  


Heyes followed, still carrying Anna Mae. “Why don’t you ride with me this time, honey, and tell me all about your, uh, adventure? I think Uncle Thaddeus needs some time to recover from his fun.”  


*****  


They found a nice little pond to make their evening campsite by. The Kid was a little stiff and sore, but managing alright otherwise.  


“Look, why don’t I finish up with the horses while you relax a little and just keep an eye on Anna Mae,” Heyes suggested.  


“Oh, no. _I’ll_ see to the horses and you can watch our little bundle of joy here. Like you said, I need to relax.”  


“Now, Kid, are you sure you’re not just looking for something to grouse about?” Heyes laughed and ducked as a glove soared past his head.  


He strolled over to the pond where Anna Mae’d been playing by its edge. He’d warned her very carefully not to go in the water, but he thought he’d better keep watch to make sure. After this afternoon’s incident, he wasn’t sure what to expect.  


She wasn’t playing where she’d been. He looked at the still water. Oh, no—she couldn’t have--! Before he had time to panic, his eye was caught by a movement to his right. A fallen tree stretched from the bank out into the water. At its very tip, leaning over and looking about to fall in, was Anna Mae.  


“How—when—Anna Mae, you get back here!” he yelled and ran out over the log.  


She glanced back at him. “Uncle Joshua, be careful,” she said, “it’s…”  


“Yowww!”  


Splash!  


She peered over the log. Heyes sat up in the pond, water cascading off him. “…slipp’ry,” she finished.  


Heyes spit out some pond water. “Thank you, Anna Mae,” he said simply.  


The Kid, who’d run over on hearing all the commotion, stood doubled over with laughter. Anna Mae got down off the log and came over to him. “Anna Mae,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath, “didn’t we tell you not to go in the water?” He tried to sound stern, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the whooping and hiccupping as he struggled to contain his laughter.  


“But I didn’t go in the water. Uncle Joshua did,” the little girl pointed out.  


Heyes waded out of the pond and squelched soggily up the bank, dripping rivulets with every step.  


“She’s got us dead to rights there, Joshua.” The Kid gave up all attempts at stifling his laughter.  


Heyes ignored him. He was muttering to himself as he walked by. “Simple enough.” Squoosh, slosh, drip. “How hard can it be?” Squoosh, slosh, drip. “What could go wrong?” Squoosh, slosh, drip. “Quiet child.” Squoosh, slosh, drip. The sounds faded away into the still evening.  


The Kid grinned after him. “Uncle Thaddeus?” puzzled the little girl. “Why did Uncle Joshua jump in the water with all his clothes on?”  


The Kid glanced down. “I don’t know, Anna Mae. You’ll have to ask him sometime.” He paused, chuckling. “But not tonight, mind. Definitely not tonight.” They began to walk back towards camp. “By the way,” he asked, “what were you doing out on that log?”  


“Goin’ fishing,” she announced.  


“Fishing? Of course. I see. Catch anything?”  


“No,” she shook her head sadly. “I think Uncle Joshua scared all the fish away.”  


That set him off again. “I’ll just bet he did!” he managed through the laughter.  


*****  


Heyes had pretty much dried off by the fire by the time they finished eating supper. He’d been looking pretty bedraggled. Anna Mae felt so sorry for him, she held out her biscuit covered with preserves and offered him a bite. He steeled himself to take a very small one and chewed it slowly. “Thanks, that hit the spot,” he said through the mouthful. She gave her doll a long look, and bravely offered it next. That elicited a smile. “Oh, that’s very generous. But I think she’d be happier with you. I’m fine, really.”  


“She seems to have gotten pretty dirty today, Joshua, what with one thing and another. Do you think we ought to give her a bath?” the Kid asked, eying Anna Mae doubtfully.  


“We?” Heyes asked. “I’ve had my fill of water for one day, thank you. You do it if you think she needs it.”  


“We could flip a coin,” Curry suggested.  


“Whose coin? Oh, never mind, I’ll help, come on.”  


Between the two of them, they managed to scrub her fairly clean and soon Anna Mae was ready for bed. “Tell me a story,” she requested the Kid sleepily as he was tucking her in.  


“A story? Well, now, stories are more in your Uncle Joshua’s line than mine,” drawled the Kid.  


“I don’t think I know any stories for little girls, though,” Heyes quickly interposed.  


“A song then,” Anna Mae agreeably changed the plan for the evening’s entertainment. “Sing me the song about the white horses.”  


“White horses?” Heyes and Curry exchanged questioning looks. “I don’t think we know that one, honey.”  


“Like this,” and she began to hum to show them how it went.  


“Oh,” Heyes recognized it and began to sing. “She’ll be comin’ round the mountain when she comes…” Soon, three voices were joined in singing cheerily along. “She’ll be driving six white horses, she’ll be driving six white horses, she’ll be driving six white horses when she comes.”  


“My mama and papa are coming to get me with horses,” she murmured as she drifted to sleep, cuddling her doll.  


“She looks kinda sweet asleep, don’t she, Heyes? Like a little angel.”  


“Mmm. Looks sure are deceiving.”  


The Kid just grinned as he took out his gun to check it. “I’ll take the first watch, Heyes. You get some sleep. We don’t want you catching cold.”  


Heyes was too tired to argue. “Fine. Wake me when you’re sleepy. We’ll want to get an early start.”  


*****  


“Kid. Kid.” Early morning and Heyes was shaking him awake. He tried to open his eyes. “Come on, Kid, get up. She’s done it again.”  


That did it. He was wide awake now. He sat up. “What happened?”  


I was keeping watch and it was just getting light and I swear Anna Mae was sound asleep, when nature called. I wasn’t gone more’n five minutes, but when I got back she was gone. We’ve got to find her.”  


“The pond…?”  


“No, that’s the first place I checked. It’s pretty muddy around there now and she would’ve left footprints, but there’s nothing. We’ll have to split up and scout around again.”  


*****  


This time it was Heyes who spotted her first. She was laughing and playing, all unconcerned, with a—oh, no! “Anna Mae.” His voice came out a little shaky.  


“Uncle Joshua, see the kitty I found to play with!”  


“Honey, that’s not really the kind of kitty that makes a good playmate for a little girl.”  


“But he was lonely and we’re having fun.”  


“Anna Mae, your fun is gonna turn your old uncles gray before their time. I’m sure he’s only alone because his mama is out hunting breakfast for him, and we’d better go eat our breakfast, too, so say goodbye and come along now.”  


Before they could go anywhere, however, two sounds froze him in his tracks. One was a rattle, as a snake appeared and seemed to hesitate over which of the youngsters to strike first. The other was a yowl, as the mama cat, indeed returning from her morning hunt, recognized a double threat to her kitten.  


Heyes was almost thankful for the Mexican stand-off. If the snake kept mama cat occupied, she wouldn’t be apt to pay much attention to two humans sneaking away. The problem was how to get Anna Mae out of the rattler’s range fast enough. The moment seemed to stretch out endlessly. Even Hannibal Heyes couldn’t plan his way out of this one.  


Meanwhile, Kid Curry had come to the same conclusion. He had circled around, searching along his delegated route, and come upon the little tableau. He sized up the situation, and saw only one course of action, albeit a risky one. He drew, and fired.  


The bullet hit the snake, which flew up into the air. The cat pounced on it. Heyes grabbed Anna Mae and ran.  


When everybody was safely back in camp and breathing easily again, Heyes complimented the Kid on his fast action and accurate shooting.  


“Accurate? How d’you know it was the snake I was aiming at?”  


“Don’t even joke about something like that,” shuddered his partner.  


“Don’t ‘boozle us, Uncle Thaddeus,” reprimanded Anna Mae.  


Both men broke out laughing. “OK, I give up. No ‘boozling,” the Kid promised.  


Anna Mae jumped up and down excitedly. “Did’ja see my kitty?”  


“Yes, I did, honey, and we’re going to have to have us a long talk about different kinds of ‘kitties.’”  


They got their things together and headed out of camp.  


*****  


They arrived at Anna Mae’s aunt’s just after noon. A woman resembling Hettie, but just a little older, came down off the porch to greet them.  


“Anna Mae, that’s never you, child!”  


“Aunt Lily, I had a fun trip with Uncle Joshua and Uncle Thaddeus!”  


“Uncle…?!”  


“This letter from your sister should explain things, ma’am.” Heyes tipped his hat and handed over Hettie’s letter.  


She scanned its contents quickly as they dismounted. “Land sakes, what a time Hettie seems to’ve been having,” she exclaimed. “I do declare, it was very kind of you to help out by bringing Anna Mae all this way. I do hope it was no trouble for you.”  


“Oh, no trouble at all, ma’am,” Heyes smiled his most charming smile, with no hint of inwardly gritting teeth. “Isn’t that right, Thaddeus?”  


“Yes, indeed, Joshua,” said the Kid as he lifted Anna Mae down from his horse. “It’s been a pleasure taking care of such a well-behaved child,”  


“Well, come on in. We’re just about to sit down to lunch. I insist you join us, and tell us all about _everything_.” She led the way indoors.  


Heyes and Curry followed her up the steps, Anna Mae between them, holding their hands. She looked from one to the other. “Flimflam,” she said wisely.  


Heyes laughed. “Quite right, Anna Mae,” he said. “If there ever was a time for flimflam, this is it.” They went on into the house.  


*****  


They were just finishing an excellent meal (“I can see good cooks run in your family, ma’am,” Heyes had complimented), having caught Lily up on all the news from her sister, and not quite all the story of the trip, when a rider trotted up to the house. Lily answered his knock and came back with a telegram.  


“It’s from Hettie,” she informed them, and proceeded to read it aloud. “’Found Jim. All well here. Will fetch Anna Mae soonest possible. Love to her, your family, and Joshua and Thaddeus. Hettie.’ It sounds like everything’s settled.”  


“That’s real good news, ma’am. I’m glad we were able to hear that before we left,” Heyes said.  


“Must you go right away? You’re more than welcome to stay longer, you know.”  


“Thank you, ma’am, you’re very kind,” added the Kid, “but we have to be moving on.”  


They went over to where Anna Mae was playing with her cousins.  


“We have to say goodbye now, Anna Mae,” Heyes said gently.  


“Do you hafto?” She threw her arms around him.  


He stooped and hugged her tightly. “Yes, honey, we have to. You be a good girl now and don’t worry your aunt. You’ll be seeing your mama and papa real soon.”  


“Flimflam?” she whispered in his ear.  


He hugged her tighter. “No, honey, no flimflam. I promise.” She kissed him and he passed her over to the Kid.  


“Don’t go forgetting your Uncle Thaddeus and your Uncle Joshua now, sweetheart,” he said.  


“I won’t,” she assured him solemnly.  


“Or what I told you about kitties either.” She nodded. He gave her a last goodbye hug and kiss and put her down.  


They thanked their hostess again and took their departure. Anna Mae waved goodbye from the porch as they rode out of sight.  


“Well, Kid, back to normal.”  


“Yup. Just think, Heyes, no more rockslides.”  


“No more dunkings.”  


“No angry mother cats.”  


“No sticky fingers.”  


“No baths to give.”  


“Or having to sing songs at night.”  


“Or tucking in.”  


“Yep. Sounds right peaceable, Kid.”  


“Too peaceable, Heyes.”  


“Might get downright boring.” He thought a bit, then grinned. “Wait a minute, Kid, when have our lives ever been boring?”  


“You’re right, Heyes. We got nothing to worry about.”  


They rode along a ways in silence.  


“Heyes?”  


“Hmm?”  


“You ever think about being a father? Someday, I mean.”  


“Oh, sure, Kid, someday.”  


“You think we’ll have kids like Anna Mae?”  


“Oh, I don’t know, Kid, all young ‘uns are different. They take after their folks mostly. We’ll have a young Hannibal Heyes and a young Kid Curry.”  


They exchanged suddenly alarmed glances.  


“Heyes, this’ll seem like a cakewalk in comparison.”  


“We’ll probably look back and remember the good old days.”  


“What’s a little rattlesnake or two?”  


“Wait a minute, Kid, calm down, we’re forgettin’ somethin’.”  


“What’s that?”  


“Well, this isn’t gonna happen tomorrow. We got plenty o’ time before you ‘n me become daddies for me to think on it and come up with a plan. A Hannibal Heyes plan for child rearin’.”  


“Yeah. Yeah, that’s so, Heyes. I feel better already.”  


“That’s good, Kid.”  


“After all, how hard can it be? What can go wrong?”  


“DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?!”

THE END


End file.
